The White House has often been home to parents who
mourn lost children. Their reactions to their loss and their decisions to not
run, may or may not have changed the course of history. Historians are still
out on this one.
Most recently, when Vice-president Joseph Biden Jr,
announced that he was not running for president in 2016, he cited his son,
Beau’s death, and his struggle with his grief as the main reason. Biden, it
seems, took his time to decide, since it was well known that he wanted to be
president one day. But those of us who have lost a child know how emotionally
draining it is to even function day to day. And a president’s responsibility
for the entire nation is a huge job and can’t be taken lightly.
We often think of a president as someone who is
immune from tragic events, but many of our presidents have lost one or more
children, particularly in the early part of the 20th century when as
many as three in 10 infants died before their first birthdays. I thought you
might like to hear of some of these losses.
Probably, one of the most famous presidents who lost
a child was John F. Kennedy, whose son Patrick Kennedy, died just 39 hours
after birth. He was pre-mature and had complications.
The same with Christine
Reagan, Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman’s daughter, who died shortly after her
birth in 1947.
Dwight D. Eisenhower and Mamie’s first son, Icky,
died of Scarlet Fever at age 3. From then on, he sent his wife flowers year on his son's birthday. George Bush’s second child, Robin, also died at
age 3 from Leukemia.
Another very famous president, Abraham Lincoln, lost
the third of his four sons, 11-year-old Willie of Typhoid Fever in 1862. He
also lost Edward, his second son at age 3 in 1850.
William McKinley’s two
children, daughters Ida and Katie, died early deaths.
For some presidents, the loss of their child
affected them greatly and they suffered setbacks and recover very slowly, if at
all. Franklin Pierce witnessed the violent death of his third and only
surviving son, Benny, in a train accident two weeks before his inauguration and
did not do well afterwards.
Nor did Calvin Coolidge, whose second son, 16 year
old Calvin Jr., died in 1924 of a staph infection acquired after playing tennis
without his socks. He did not seek re-election in 1928 because of this death. “The
power and the glory of the presidency went with Calvin,” he said.
Theodore
Roosevelt’s son, Quentin, was shot down by a German pilot in 1918. Roosevelt
died brokenhearted six months later in 1919.
Many other presidents lost children and one
running for president in 2016, Carly Fiorina, lost her 35-year-old
stepdaughter, Lori Ann, who died of a drug overdose. She speaks bluntly about
her pain, gets it out in the open and doesn’t try to hide her feelings as some
do. She and others believe that not hiding their anguish is one of the best ways to deal with their
grief.
Most have one thing in common. They recovered and
moved on with their lives and experienced what some experts call post-traumatic
growth, positive changes after a crisis, including a greater appreciation of
life and personal strength. Others suffered depression
and other psychiatric conditions and had to seek help.
We all cope differently and there is no right or
wrong way to grieve a child’s death. It is and should be an
individual's choice as to how he/she deals with it.
