Sunday, July 31, 2011

Dreams and Their Meaning

Four months after my daughter’s marriage, she was alive and well and planning the move to a new home they could call their own. It was one of the things I loved to do… look at homes, analyze them and make suggestions. So, when my daughter said, “Come out to L.A. mom, and help me look. I’m having trouble finding just the right house for us,” I decided on a whim to go. I knew that if we looked and found a suitable place, I’d give her a down payment for the home, even though she expected nothing from me.

We spent a whole weekend looking; the homes were out of sight price-wise in 1994 (but by comparison to homes 10 years later, a real deal). A two-bedroom small older home that needed a lot of work was $800,000, far more than most could afford. When we saw a $600,000 home on the market, we’d get into the car and drive over. In most cases, we were disappointed…too much remodeling needed, a new roof and paint job, and two bedrooms was just not enough. They wanted a family.

“But Mom,” she’d say, “You’re looking at a very typical home for that price. We’ll have trouble even affording that, but what choice do we have.” I could see that a fixer-upper would be their only hope of something affordable. I went home, disappointed that weekend that we couldn’t find the perfect fit. Less than a month later, Marcy died in a car accident. I would never see that beautiful house that I pictured in my head, nor would I ever see my daughter in it.

Why, then, so many years later did I have a dream about Marcy and her husband buying a home? What was the significance of that dream? Experts such as Dr. Patricia Garfield in her book, “The Dream Messenger” says that visitation dreams tend to be “warm and fuzzy” and provide a way for us to keep connected with our child. They leave us feeling as if we really talked to or held our deceased loved one. We can smile because these are good dreams, according to Dr. Garfield, not disturbing nightmares or bad dreams.

We want so badly for these dreams to be real because in them we held our child and talked to him or her. Upon waking, we may lie there in the morning and may cry because we want our child to be with us in our waking life also.

I have found that most of my dreams about Marcy are good ones. I do not know that much about dreams or their meaning, but can tell you this: record your dreams and keep a journal of them. You may one day meet someone who can interpret them for you and you may be surprised and delighted as to what you are told they mean.

Editor’s note: If there is anyone reading this who can enlighten us with more information about dreams and their meaning, please send it to me and I’d be happy to print it in an upcoming issue.

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