Sunday, June 10, 2012
This and That
Go to grievingdads.com web site and you’ll see Kelly Farley’s new book he is launching to help all dads, Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back. He knows that this holiday coming up, Father’s Day, is very hard for dads who have lost children. He has done much research on this topic going around the country interviewing these dads in all walks of life and getting their feelings and perspective on this topic of losing your child.
When he went to Buffalo, N.Y. one weekend to interview five dads for his book, he had the pleasure of having Fathers Day breakfast with a dad who lost his son in an ATV accident while on vacation. Sitting there with him in the sunshine on his deck telling stories of his experience, stories he said he had never told before, was a powerful experience and captures the reason why he wrote this book.
“I wrote this book to provide insight to grieving dads and the people in their lives as well as to let other grieving dads know they are not alone. There are tens of thousands of us out there that are struggling to tell our stories.”
The website has many stories, blogs and even asks for support to promote the book to those who really need it. On a personal note: to all dads, a very happy Father’s Day.
Chris and Carole Jackson from Florida started a Facebook project called the Colton Name Project in memory of their son, Colton. According to the Jacksons, people have been sending pictures from all over the country and the world with his name spelled out with objects, simply on paper but in front of special locations or monuments and even with some famous people holding up his name. “It has been such a special blessing for us,” they said. “It gives us a reason to get up in the morning.
The Jackson’s are also in the process of starting a foundation in his memory to help local children somehow. It’s still in the works and all they know so far is the name—Colton’s Heart. Colton was an organ donor and a young man received his heart. They are hoping to one day meet this young man and the other three recipients of his organs.
If you have a disabled child in a wheelchair, you may find the blog:
http://www.bry-bryantsblog.blogspot.com/ an interesting read. Unfortunately, because of copyright laws that the mom has attached to her blog about her son who lived for 20 years, I can not tell you much about him. Suffice to say that this mom has poured out her heart about her son, who had a lot of physical ailments, a lot of operations, but chose to live in spite of all his challenges, smiling courageously through everything he was dealt. I find it hard to believe that these special children can deal with everything thrown at them and come out of it all shining. It warms my heart as I’m sure it will yours.
CHILDREN’S UNDERSTANDING OF DEATH
If you have young children at home who have lost a sibling, you may find that if they are preschool, they will probably not understand that death is final. They will think that they will see that person again. They may also falsely think it was their fault that the person died. Parents need to reassure the child that is not the case. As they grow and go to school, the child will gain a more mature understanding of death and begin to realize that death is final and people do not come back to life. They could also have scary beliefs about death, like believing in the “boogey man” who comes for the person. They will probably ask a lot of questions and may reject old friends and seek those who have experienced a similar loss. As a teen, they have a full adult understanding of death even though they may withdraw, become sad or lose interest in activities and hide their true feelings. Parents should try to be patient and understand all these feelings.