Sunday, April 28, 2013

Steps Towards Healing

Dr. Darcie Sims, author, bereaved parent and child nationally certified thanatologist, bereavement specialist, licensed psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, recently wrote an article in the fall 2012 TAPS magazine listing a few simple steps towards healing in one of her articles. All bereaved parents should take note of these steps and apply them where and when reasonable to do so. Thanks, Darcie.

                 Steps Towards Healing

• Acknowledge the loss.

• Embrace and own the experience and the loss – whatever you are feeling.

• Allow yourself to experience all the emotions of grief.

• Find ways to express your anger and pain in non-destructive actions.

• Find supports. Build a support system of compassionate listeners.

• Skip the self-judgment. Let the judgment of others pass through you without damage.

• Forgive yourself for whatever you believe you have done or not done.

• Work toward healing.

• Practice forgiving yourself for living.

• Concentrate on your loved one’s life, not the death.

• Discover the person you are now.

• Begin to release the hurt in search of hope.

• Release the anger and the guilt. Be careful what you release. Once released, you cannot have that hurt, anger or guilt again.

• Never, ever, ever forget your loved one lived.

May love be what you remember the most. We will never say good-bye or stop loving our children. You will never eliminate the pain of death, but you can ease the loneliness, confusion and despair. We are all a family circle, broken by death, but mended by love.

Darcie has written many books on the subject of grief. One of her most popular and enduring ones is "Why Are the Casseroles Always Tuna." Her most recent one is "Grief Quest: A Workbook and Journal To Heal The Grieving Parent's Heart." See a complete list on Amazon.