Sunday, May 8, 2016
Grief Books Help
As I’ve said many times to many people, reading grief books helped me more than anything else to get me through my loss. Understand that this grief journey is never-ending. Your heart will always hurt and have a lasting hole in it, but learning to live with this grief is the point that we should all hopefully get to.
All these grief books have good ideas for the bereaved. And they are a healthy way through both the good and bad days you will have. Coping is the key to moving on. What better way is it to escape from all your problems than to read what someone else has to say on the subject. You don’t have to agree with everything said. Even if you get one good idea to help, it has been worth your time and effort. If you get 10 ideas, your heart will lift in your chest and if you get 25 ideas, you have gotten more than most people will get in a lifetime. Best of all, you feel less alone, discovering that others feel the exact same way you do. Reading grief books doesn’t have to be depressing. If you can feel what it’s like to laugh again from what someone says in addition to getting advice, the adage “laughter is the best medicine” will be beneficial to you.
The first book I read was “No Time For Goodbyes” by Janice Lord. I was lucky. I immediately could relate to these mothers and fathers. Most of what they said, I also said to myself. For example, Ms Lord says that we will never forget what happened to our loved one, so not to worry about that. She adds that we will be sorry not to share life with him or her, but in time, we’ll remember the happy memories more easily than the painful ones. It was comforting to read this and many of her other thoughts, and I realized that if I kept reading grief books, that would be my salvation.
I never took one drug to help me through the tough times. I believe all that does is hide your problems for a short while. I don’t drink alcohol or smoke, and I didn’t food binge. I now try to lead an active, healthy lifestyle and it has paid off in more ways than one.
As an author myself, I began to gather thoughts, ideas from others, do interviews and realized I was getting enough material to write a book to help others, in fact two books. I often hear from those who have read my books and tell me how much the books have helped them. That, to me, is the best part of being an author, the feedback you get for all the effort you have put into it. Many bereaved parents have turned to writing their story and it has been a good exercise to help them on their grief journey.