Tears weld up in my eyes every time I hear or read about the Newtown massacre of 20 children and 6 adults at the school there. How could this have happened? How could the 20-year-old’s mother not have known how sick her son was? And the parents: what they must be going through, having to bury their 6 or 7 year old child? So many questions and situations, but not many answers. We will never know the real story behind what occurred, but we all understand its aftermath, because we have all lost children also and know how these parents feel.
They are in shock; they can’t believe what has happened so suddenly and so tragically. It will take a long time before they can accept that their child is even gone. I know it was a long time for me…almost three years before I one day caught my breath and realized I would never see my daughter again. That was when the tears flowed their hardest. (Like one mother said… it is like a tsunami: if you flow with it, you will survive, but, if you let it overtake you in its path, you won’t survive.)
A few suggestions for these parents, yourself or any others who have recently lost a child in any situation:
1. Journal your thoughts and feelings where you are now up to a year from now (the hardest time for you to remember later on when you are able look back). You will be surprised to learn what you were thinking and feeling then as compared to now. I wrote my feelings down in my first book 11 years ago and am stunned now to reread it and understand how much I would have forgotten if it had not been written down.
2. Every time you think of a good memory of your child, write it down. Keep thinking of these memories and continue writing them. When you are not in good shape or feel like it, look at some of these memories to help you smile through your tears, and perhaps even laugh.
3. Don’t worry that you’ll forget your child. You won’t. They lived and made wonderful memories for you that you can keep in your heart forever.
4. Let others help you who have been in the same situation, whether it is a friend, family member, priest, rabbi or a local or national support group. Not only will it be comforting to tell your story, but you know they will understand what you are going through and can perhaps have some suggestions for you.
5. Keep talking about your child to keep his/her memory alive. Doing activities, giving donations, building memorials also helps.
6. Cry whenever you feel like it. You are not going crazy and crying is a cleansing emotion that allows you to feel better.
And let us not forget the staff members who also lost their lives at that school. We have not forgotten you and your bravery in saving many children that day.
Remembering Forever: Charlotte Bacon, 6; Daniel Barden, 7; Olivia Engel, 6; Josephine Gay, 7; Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 6; Dylan Hockley, 6; Madeleine F. Hsu, 6; Catherine V. Hubbard, 6; Chase Kowalski, 7; Jesse Lewis, 6; James Mattioli, 6; Grace McDonnell, 7; Emilie Parker, 6; Jack Pinto, 6; Noah Pozner, 6; Caroline Previdi, 6; Jessica Rekos, 6; Avielle Richman, 6; Benjamin Wheeler, 6; Allison N. Wyatt, 6; ADULTS: Rachel Davino, 29; Dawn Hochsprung, 47; Anne Marie Murphy, 52; Lauren Rousseau, 30; Mary Sherlach, 56; Victoria Soto, 27.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Turning Grief Into Action
One of the ways to help you move on with your life is to turn your grief into action. Many parents have found a cause to channel their heartache into something useful and beneficial for others. In most cases, parents will tell you, it is to make sure what happened to them doesn’t happen again to someone else. For some it is legislation; for others, it is talking to groups and telling their story for simple awareness of a situation. Whatever the reason, this is a healthy way of making a difference and honoring their child with the work they do.
One mother is working relentlessly to improve school bus stop safety. Her 13 year old daughter was hit in a crosswalk while waiting to catch her school bus. Her new role is advocate. It is a role that has often proved frustrating, but she continues to work for changes. No one was cited or reprimanded for the accident. It was deemed a horrible, heart-wrenching accident. Since then she has enlisted elected officials, pushed for greater oversight by the California Highway Patrol and urged bus and school officials to consider changing procedures. Three students saw the accident have raised thousands of dollars to cut down the view-obscuring eucalyptus, lengthen the crossing signal and create a bus safety video to show to students. The mother speaks to anyone who will listen about bus stop visibility and overgrown vegetation on Sunset Boulevard. Her husband has urged her to move on, but she can’t. This is her mission now. There is progress with alternative bus stops, but she is not satisfied yet. Moments of joy in doing something for her child mingle with ceaseless heartache that only a mother knows. This is her life now and however long it takes, she is willing to continue her efforts in her child’s memory.
Another mother whose daughter died in a car accident by a drunk driver believes the driver should have gone to prison for life. He only got six years and then four years probation. The mother worked with SADD and MADD and spoke at boys’ and girls’ clubs about having the right to say, “No, I won’t get in a car with someone who is impaired.” Through these organizations, she then became involved with the Victim’s Impact Panel where criminals are required to listen to parent’s stories. Hopefully, they begin to understand the impact of the loss on families. Doing this work is how I deal with the rest of my life. She hopes she is making a difference.
“It was little things that alerted me something was very wrong with my son, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it,” said another mother. It turned out her son was schizophrenic and eventually committed suicide. For many years she felt tremendous guilt. Finally she began to do volunteer work for the Mental Health Association by going into schools and telling principals about some of the programs available to help kids and what the symptoms of this disease are. Teachers and all school personnel listen to what she has to say. In classrooms she tells her story; they see how she was affected and those who had suicide thoughts, rethink the fact that their families would, indeed, miss them. It is important for her to tell everyone she comes in contact with that she does this because she won’t be part of the shame and stigma attached to mental illness.
Your situation after the death of your child is as heartbreaking as these three women. I encourage you to work your way through your grief and find a new purpose to make a difference in your life and in others.
One mother is working relentlessly to improve school bus stop safety. Her 13 year old daughter was hit in a crosswalk while waiting to catch her school bus. Her new role is advocate. It is a role that has often proved frustrating, but she continues to work for changes. No one was cited or reprimanded for the accident. It was deemed a horrible, heart-wrenching accident. Since then she has enlisted elected officials, pushed for greater oversight by the California Highway Patrol and urged bus and school officials to consider changing procedures. Three students saw the accident have raised thousands of dollars to cut down the view-obscuring eucalyptus, lengthen the crossing signal and create a bus safety video to show to students. The mother speaks to anyone who will listen about bus stop visibility and overgrown vegetation on Sunset Boulevard. Her husband has urged her to move on, but she can’t. This is her mission now. There is progress with alternative bus stops, but she is not satisfied yet. Moments of joy in doing something for her child mingle with ceaseless heartache that only a mother knows. This is her life now and however long it takes, she is willing to continue her efforts in her child’s memory.
Another mother whose daughter died in a car accident by a drunk driver believes the driver should have gone to prison for life. He only got six years and then four years probation. The mother worked with SADD and MADD and spoke at boys’ and girls’ clubs about having the right to say, “No, I won’t get in a car with someone who is impaired.” Through these organizations, she then became involved with the Victim’s Impact Panel where criminals are required to listen to parent’s stories. Hopefully, they begin to understand the impact of the loss on families. Doing this work is how I deal with the rest of my life. She hopes she is making a difference.
“It was little things that alerted me something was very wrong with my son, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it,” said another mother. It turned out her son was schizophrenic and eventually committed suicide. For many years she felt tremendous guilt. Finally she began to do volunteer work for the Mental Health Association by going into schools and telling principals about some of the programs available to help kids and what the symptoms of this disease are. Teachers and all school personnel listen to what she has to say. In classrooms she tells her story; they see how she was affected and those who had suicide thoughts, rethink the fact that their families would, indeed, miss them. It is important for her to tell everyone she comes in contact with that she does this because she won’t be part of the shame and stigma attached to mental illness.
Your situation after the death of your child is as heartbreaking as these three women. I encourage you to work your way through your grief and find a new purpose to make a difference in your life and in others.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Creative Outlets on Grief Journey
Keeping your mind occupied during your grief journey is important. Creative activities can be very helpful when grieving.
Giving a gift of stained glass art is a way to welcome new parents into a grief group. One mother showed she cared and understood what these new grieving parents were experiencing. Most of the stained glass she makes are hearts with the deceased child’s name in the middle, a way of showing the parents that their child is always in their heart. This can be done on your own or an entire group of mothers can work together on this type of project. Using their hands is not the only benefit, but also, “it gives us an opportunity to talk,” said Christine Gaudet, who lost her 18-year-old son in an accident on May 29, 2011. “More than making something, it is a time to get together with people who understand your particular pain,” she added. Gaudet also tries to individualize each heart, using the child’s favorite color. Other stained glass objects may also help. Think about your child and whatever comes to mind that they were fond of can probably be done in stained glass.
Another creative activity is making a memory book. Memory books can hold not only pictures but also items from your child’s life, such as awards they won or writings from school. I remember my daughter made a certificate at school that said, “World’s Best Mom and Teacher” and drew a 1st place ribbon on the side of it. She was 6 years old at the time, and 40 years later I still have and treasure that paper.
Listening to soft music can be soothing to the heart, relaxing and put you in a good place. I know that when I am anxious or need to relax and think of something other than my child, I concentrate on playing the piano, and it calms me down. Or just putting on headphones and listening to music with or without words may bring back memories that were forgotten.
Still others will knit baby bonnets, jackets and blankets to donate to friends or local hospitals. Knitting in a group and the talking done among the parents, as author Ann Hood, who wrote “The Knitting Circle” will tell you, can help in the healing process.
By using their hands, these parents don’t have to think, and it can lead to some new discoveries, like a good memory you would like to remember. Memories of your child are important to hang on to.
Giving a gift of stained glass art is a way to welcome new parents into a grief group. One mother showed she cared and understood what these new grieving parents were experiencing. Most of the stained glass she makes are hearts with the deceased child’s name in the middle, a way of showing the parents that their child is always in their heart. This can be done on your own or an entire group of mothers can work together on this type of project. Using their hands is not the only benefit, but also, “it gives us an opportunity to talk,” said Christine Gaudet, who lost her 18-year-old son in an accident on May 29, 2011. “More than making something, it is a time to get together with people who understand your particular pain,” she added. Gaudet also tries to individualize each heart, using the child’s favorite color. Other stained glass objects may also help. Think about your child and whatever comes to mind that they were fond of can probably be done in stained glass.
Another creative activity is making a memory book. Memory books can hold not only pictures but also items from your child’s life, such as awards they won or writings from school. I remember my daughter made a certificate at school that said, “World’s Best Mom and Teacher” and drew a 1st place ribbon on the side of it. She was 6 years old at the time, and 40 years later I still have and treasure that paper.
Listening to soft music can be soothing to the heart, relaxing and put you in a good place. I know that when I am anxious or need to relax and think of something other than my child, I concentrate on playing the piano, and it calms me down. Or just putting on headphones and listening to music with or without words may bring back memories that were forgotten.
Still others will knit baby bonnets, jackets and blankets to donate to friends or local hospitals. Knitting in a group and the talking done among the parents, as author Ann Hood, who wrote “The Knitting Circle” will tell you, can help in the healing process.
By using their hands, these parents don’t have to think, and it can lead to some new discoveries, like a good memory you would like to remember. Memories of your child are important to hang on to.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
16th Annual Candle Lighting
The 16th Worldwide Candle Lighting this year is Dec. 9, next Sunday at 7 p.m. During this time hundreds of thousands of bereaved parents will light a candle to honor and remember any child who has died from any cause at any age.
Now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, the candle lighting creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held as well as thousands of informal candle-lightings are held in homes in quiet remembrance of our children, gone too soon but not forgotten.
For those of you who would like to plan an organized memorial service in your home town to last from a few minutes to as long as you’d like, here is how you can go about doing it.
1. Choose a chairperson to organize the event. The chairperson will need volunteers to help and you should start in the early fall.
2. Do a timeline for when things should get done. Finalize location, and order candles in September. In October select readings, poems and presents; arrange for music, prepare flyers to communicate with the public and include a map. In November, write and deliver press releases to local media and if there is a TCF chapter in your area or closeby, have them notify members. In December, reconfirm location, music, presenters and print program.
3. Determine a location that can hold many people. Some groups choose a park setting, since there is no limit to who can come. Get permission to use a park early.
4. Publicize the time. If you are not connected to TCF, say in your literature that the service is held in conjunction with the Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting. Fill out an online submission form at the national website: www.compassionatefriends.org to provide information so that it can be posted prominently with all other known candle lightings. This allows those who visit the website and wish to attend a candle lighting in your area to know of your event. Contact interested local groups, churches and funeral homes and contact a variety of media including newspapers, television and local talk show radio. Some stations may broadcast a public service announcement about your service at no charge.
5. Stress in your publicity that this is a remembrance program rather than a holiday program.
6. Ask those involved in planning to come one to two hours ahead of time to help with the preparations. Carry a cell phone just in case.
7. Invite the media to attend, but do not permit any interviews during the ceremony or taking of pictures.
8. Consider including the following in your program: MUSIC playing softly while you distribute candles. The popular song “Precious Child” is very appropriate. READING of messages posted throughout the day at the national website to show the unity this event creates throughout the world. READ the names of all the children being remembered or go around the room and have a parent or family member say the child’s name. Mention in general terms that this is held to remember all children, siblings and grandchildren who have died. SOCIALIZE after the program so those who want to can share thoughts. Provide light refreshments
9. Emphasize in all publicity that anyone not able to attend may participate by simply lighting a candle at home alone or with friends and family.
On the website you are encouraged to post a memorial message of remembrance that their light may always shine.
Now believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, the candle lighting creates a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held as well as thousands of informal candle-lightings are held in homes in quiet remembrance of our children, gone too soon but not forgotten.
For those of you who would like to plan an organized memorial service in your home town to last from a few minutes to as long as you’d like, here is how you can go about doing it.
1. Choose a chairperson to organize the event. The chairperson will need volunteers to help and you should start in the early fall.
2. Do a timeline for when things should get done. Finalize location, and order candles in September. In October select readings, poems and presents; arrange for music, prepare flyers to communicate with the public and include a map. In November, write and deliver press releases to local media and if there is a TCF chapter in your area or closeby, have them notify members. In December, reconfirm location, music, presenters and print program.
3. Determine a location that can hold many people. Some groups choose a park setting, since there is no limit to who can come. Get permission to use a park early.
4. Publicize the time. If you are not connected to TCF, say in your literature that the service is held in conjunction with the Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting. Fill out an online submission form at the national website: www.compassionatefriends.org to provide information so that it can be posted prominently with all other known candle lightings. This allows those who visit the website and wish to attend a candle lighting in your area to know of your event. Contact interested local groups, churches and funeral homes and contact a variety of media including newspapers, television and local talk show radio. Some stations may broadcast a public service announcement about your service at no charge.
5. Stress in your publicity that this is a remembrance program rather than a holiday program.
6. Ask those involved in planning to come one to two hours ahead of time to help with the preparations. Carry a cell phone just in case.
7. Invite the media to attend, but do not permit any interviews during the ceremony or taking of pictures.
8. Consider including the following in your program: MUSIC playing softly while you distribute candles. The popular song “Precious Child” is very appropriate. READING of messages posted throughout the day at the national website to show the unity this event creates throughout the world. READ the names of all the children being remembered or go around the room and have a parent or family member say the child’s name. Mention in general terms that this is held to remember all children, siblings and grandchildren who have died. SOCIALIZE after the program so those who want to can share thoughts. Provide light refreshments
9. Emphasize in all publicity that anyone not able to attend may participate by simply lighting a candle at home alone or with friends and family.
On the website you are encouraged to post a memorial message of remembrance that their light may always shine.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Inspirational Video For All To See
I recently found a You Tube video on a 6 year old girl, Elena Desserich, and learned of her nine month battle with cancer. This was truly an inspiring video from the Good Morning America show a few years ago and now a book called “Notes Left Behind.” She was able, in her short life, to spread a message of hope and healing. That message is what I’d like all of you to read, see on the video and understand.
After her diagnosis she created a To Do List with things on it like swimming with the dolphins and driving. As her disease progressed she could no longer speak so she started drawing. One of her drawings was hung in the Cincinnati Museum next to her favorite painter, Picasso. This was one of her lifelong dreams. Another was to dance with her father at her wedding. She dressed in a beautiful white dress and although it was not a real wedding, she did dance while her father held her in her arms. He says it was the best day of his life. For her sister, she wrote a kindergarten survival guide.
Her father kept an online journal for family members, never realizing that people from all over were reading it for inspiration to be better parents.
Elena had a secret though. She wrote hundreds of love notes to her family and hid them between pages of books, in cupboards, drawers and clothes to be discovered after she was gone. Discover it they did, each day finding a note, reminding them she was always looking down on them with love. They have no idea how many notes there were and still find them around.
Eventually, all the notes found were combined into a book called “Notes Left Behind,” so her little sister Grace would always remember her. The book is being sold to raise money to find a cure for cancer. Go to www.thecurestartsnow.org to read more about it and the foundation that was started.
As her mother said, “Elena was wise beyond her years. She always wanted to be a teacher, and as it turned out, the world became her classroom to teach valuable inspirational lessons of love to people all over the world.”
To see and hear this video, go to You Tube.com, plug in GMA Notes Left Behind and click on it when it comes up.
After her diagnosis she created a To Do List with things on it like swimming with the dolphins and driving. As her disease progressed she could no longer speak so she started drawing. One of her drawings was hung in the Cincinnati Museum next to her favorite painter, Picasso. This was one of her lifelong dreams. Another was to dance with her father at her wedding. She dressed in a beautiful white dress and although it was not a real wedding, she did dance while her father held her in her arms. He says it was the best day of his life. For her sister, she wrote a kindergarten survival guide.
Her father kept an online journal for family members, never realizing that people from all over were reading it for inspiration to be better parents.
Elena had a secret though. She wrote hundreds of love notes to her family and hid them between pages of books, in cupboards, drawers and clothes to be discovered after she was gone. Discover it they did, each day finding a note, reminding them she was always looking down on them with love. They have no idea how many notes there were and still find them around.
Eventually, all the notes found were combined into a book called “Notes Left Behind,” so her little sister Grace would always remember her. The book is being sold to raise money to find a cure for cancer. Go to www.thecurestartsnow.org to read more about it and the foundation that was started.
As her mother said, “Elena was wise beyond her years. She always wanted to be a teacher, and as it turned out, the world became her classroom to teach valuable inspirational lessons of love to people all over the world.”
To see and hear this video, go to You Tube.com, plug in GMA Notes Left Behind and click on it when it comes up.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Thanksgiving Joy
Thanksgiving: my worst holiday. The last time I saw my daughter in a family setting back in 1993. But my mouth curls into a smile now, so many years later, as I remember her vibrant sense of humor and how we laughed and laughed at some funny comments and situations during those four days. A few examples…
She had come to town with her new husband to help us celebrate the holidays. They had just returned from their honeymoon in Greece and drove from California to Arizona to be with us. When she saw we only had a trundle bed set-up for them, she made a face and made sure the beds were pushed together. “Mother!” she admonished me. “We’re married now and want to sleep very close together.” I thought she was kidding. She was serious! I vowed to buy a larger bed for the next time.
The whole family came to Thanksgiving dinner, what little family we had: my mom and dad, now gone; my step-brother, his wife and two children; and a few friends. One of the friends who stopped by was my daughter’s good friend’s mother. She loved Marcy very much and appreciated her thoughtfulness. She relayed the story about an earthquake in Los Angeles, very close to where Marcy and her friend lived. After calling me that morning at 6:30 a.m. to tell me she was okay, I puzzled at why she had to tell me that. “What are you calling me so early for?” I asked. She told me there had been an earthquake and she didn’t want me to worry. She was safe under the dining room table! She then quickly told me she had to call her friend’s mom so she wouldn’t worry. The friend was on the East coast, not even in Los Angeles at the time of the earthquake. Her mom appreciated my daughter’s thoughtfulness that morning.
My daughter informed me that the day after Thanksgiving, she was going to have some college friends over that she hadn’t seen in years. I told her that was a good idea. “Mom,” she said, “how would you like to make your famous, delicious orange chicken?” Of course I knew she was trying to get me to cook for everyone. And like a good mother, I did. I loved seeing her old friends, that I also knew, get together, tell old college stories about classes, hated dorm roommates and fun times they had, laughing all the while. Their humor was infectious, and my side hurt for days from laughing so much.
When it was time for my daughter and her husband to leave, my husband and I watched her get into the car and start to back out of the driveway. She must have sensed something amiss because she got out of the car, went to the back of the car and ripped off some stickers of rival universities that my husband had put on her car bumper, before smiling, waving and driving off. It was a standard joke between the two of them and her intuition had been right. It was my daughter who had the last laugh as I looked at my husband’s unhappy face that he had not fooled her!
Light a candle this Thursday, Thanksgiving, for those children no longer with us. Recall how blessed we were to have them and how they brought such joy to our lives, each and every day.
She had come to town with her new husband to help us celebrate the holidays. They had just returned from their honeymoon in Greece and drove from California to Arizona to be with us. When she saw we only had a trundle bed set-up for them, she made a face and made sure the beds were pushed together. “Mother!” she admonished me. “We’re married now and want to sleep very close together.” I thought she was kidding. She was serious! I vowed to buy a larger bed for the next time.
The whole family came to Thanksgiving dinner, what little family we had: my mom and dad, now gone; my step-brother, his wife and two children; and a few friends. One of the friends who stopped by was my daughter’s good friend’s mother. She loved Marcy very much and appreciated her thoughtfulness. She relayed the story about an earthquake in Los Angeles, very close to where Marcy and her friend lived. After calling me that morning at 6:30 a.m. to tell me she was okay, I puzzled at why she had to tell me that. “What are you calling me so early for?” I asked. She told me there had been an earthquake and she didn’t want me to worry. She was safe under the dining room table! She then quickly told me she had to call her friend’s mom so she wouldn’t worry. The friend was on the East coast, not even in Los Angeles at the time of the earthquake. Her mom appreciated my daughter’s thoughtfulness that morning.
My daughter informed me that the day after Thanksgiving, she was going to have some college friends over that she hadn’t seen in years. I told her that was a good idea. “Mom,” she said, “how would you like to make your famous, delicious orange chicken?” Of course I knew she was trying to get me to cook for everyone. And like a good mother, I did. I loved seeing her old friends, that I also knew, get together, tell old college stories about classes, hated dorm roommates and fun times they had, laughing all the while. Their humor was infectious, and my side hurt for days from laughing so much.
When it was time for my daughter and her husband to leave, my husband and I watched her get into the car and start to back out of the driveway. She must have sensed something amiss because she got out of the car, went to the back of the car and ripped off some stickers of rival universities that my husband had put on her car bumper, before smiling, waving and driving off. It was a standard joke between the two of them and her intuition had been right. It was my daughter who had the last laugh as I looked at my husband’s unhappy face that he had not fooled her!
Light a candle this Thursday, Thanksgiving, for those children no longer with us. Recall how blessed we were to have them and how they brought such joy to our lives, each and every day.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Carrie Bears
To help someone who is grieving feel close to someone they have lost in an artistic way, Carrie Pike creates what she labels Carrie Bears. I met Carrie years ago at a Compassionate Friends national conference where she displayed her bears. I thought they were cute, clever and could mean something special to those who have lost a loved one, particularly a child.
Carrie started creating these bears in 1999 for bereaved parents, so parents can feel close to the child they lost. "Every family has a story and as hard as it is, I feel that many have found comfort in having Carrie Bears to hold onto," she said.
How it works is this: the bereaved parent sends a favorite article of clothing to Carrie and she turns it into a soft, huggable 20 inch stuffed bear.
Carrie has done bears out of shirts, blouses, prom dresses, uniforms, skirts, baby blankets, infant outfits, levis, vests, pants, pajamas and flannel sheets. She warns that knits tend to stretch but can make for a very soft bear. Silky and thin materials can be used but don’t work quite as well. Cotton and denim fabrics hold the shape of the bear really well.
Bears can also be made to match a baby nursery or a bedroom set. If a loved one is confined to a hospital bed or has moved far away, cuddling a bear can make home feel so much closer. Every bear is different and every bear can be personalized with pictures or writing, according to Carrie.
“It is up to you to decide what you want to have on the bear,” she said. “Personalize it any way you want.”
Each bear is $49.95 plus tax and shipping. To put a message or poem on the bear is an additional $5. A scanned picture onto material is an additional $8. For more information or to place an order, call Carrie at (801) 467-7395 or email at carriebears@juno.com. She can send you pictures of her bears.
The bears can be plain, or here are some examples of what can be said on the bear.
In Loving Memory of
Laura Ray Jones
Dec. 24, 1998 – Aug. 13, 2000
To My Beautiful daughter Melanie,
I will love you always.
Mom
Jan. 27, 1970 – Oct. 2, 1999
I have always been proud of you
For all your accomplishments
Your inner beauty, your laugh
Your friendliness, your smile
I remember it all and always will.
Love,
Dad
Eric William Macy
March 2, 1968 – May 4, 2009
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