Since you have lost a child, others close to you may come to you for help during their grief journey. If you are in a position to give that help, do not give them advice. Love is shown best in action. Here are some action verbs for helping in grief support.
LISTEN without imposing your own perceptions about their way of handling (or not handling) their grief.
LOVE with your antenna up! Take your cues from their signals.
LOSE the platitudes. Your kindness and sharing the grief emotions says it all.
ALLOW for individual differences. Leave preconceived ideas about how to manage frief home.
REMEMBER the bereaved for many years after the death of a child. The second year truly is harder than the first. Many years of cards, calls and concern are needed.
LISTEN as the bereaved talk about their children, listen as they talk about their children, listen as they talk about their children (Get it?!)
TALK to them about your own children just as you always did before!
ACCEPT their “new normal,” just as they must learn to grow into it. Grieving parents do not return to their former selves. Trust the new individual.
Following these suggestions will help everybody to grow in a healthy direction.
from part of an article by Daina Simpson Mahon
Reprinted by permission from
Grief Digest
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