Another book that I have contributed to is the “Open To
Hope” book. It not only highlights the death of a child, but other loses as
well.
Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley chose two of my
stories to include. One is on writing down all you can about positive memories
of your child and keeping them handy to relate to others when you are together.
Don’t dwell on them to the extent that you ignore the present. But they are fun
to look back on years later when the pain is less severe. These types of memories
we will never forget. Keep them in a safe place within our heart so our
children will always be with us, and we will always have opportunities to talk
about them to others.
My other story in the book deals with how to keep your
marriage healthy after the death of a child. It is an opportunity for growth
and bringing the two spouses closer together. Some ideas include talking about
your child, remembering the good times and funny incidents, the awards and the honors
that made you so proud of them. Talk about your feelings. Most married couples
don’t grieve the same way. Allow each other space at your own rate and in your
own way. Talk to friends, relatives; look for ways to please your spouse. All
these things and more will help you find new ways of moving on with your lives
as a couple, without your child.
Other stories in the book talk about spousal death, parental
death, surviving and moving on with your life, the emotional stress of losing a
loved one, sibling death, how men grieve, laughing again, honoring your child and
rebuilding your life with valuable tools to help.
These are all inspirational stories written by authors who
also write for the Open To Hope web site, writers who have also experienced
deep loss, from which it takes courage and effort to lift yourself out of the
abyss you are in. It reminds me a lot of my second book, “Creating a New Normal …After the Death of
a Child” in which I give a lot of advice from my experience and the wisdom from
professionals.
It is definitely a good read and one I would recommend.
