3 Important Points For Newly Bereaved

For the newly bereaved, grieving is hard work. It is the hardest work you will ever have to do, but you can do it and survive this loss.

There are three important points to always keep in mind as you go through your grief journey.

(1) Don’t put demands on yourself to get better quickly. You’re not sick. You’re broken. You can be mended, but you’ll always have a missing piece in your heart. Take it one hour, one day at a time for as long as you need to. Don't let anyone tell you it is time to get over this, especially those who don't understand what you are going through if they have never lost a child. Only those who have gone through this can understand. Take deep breaths constantly.

(2) Read all you can about the experience. Read grief books that talk about how newly bereaved go about moving on with their lives and what other bereaved parents have done to help themselves. Read professional books written by counselors that talk about what you will be feeling at any certain time and practical solutions to those feelings. Although these latter types of books are not personalized with stories of real people and real experiences, reading what professionals have to say can be of help. Read magazine articles on the subject of loss as well as articles from newspapers.

(3) Keep a journal about your feelings. Each day, sit down and write what you are feeling, so that when you look back you can see how far you have progressed. You’ll be surprised how many things you would never have remembered if you hadn’t kept one. My journal became the opening quarter of my first book, all about my daughter and especially my feelings during this period of my life. As I look back and read and re-read it, it brings back good, happy feelings of my daughter, things buried deep within me that I can now recall whenever I need or want to.

I wish you all good things on your grief journey.