Remembering in the New Year

A new year is upon us and as I do at the beginning of each new year, I open my special closet that contains what I have left of my daughter: four boxes filled with many memories. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but they are the important things I never want to part with. I take one box at a time and look through them, remembering…

There are school honors for organizations she belonged to and did exceptional activities in them. There are some scrapbooks with photos and reminders of happier times. There are the girl scout badges, some of which never got sewn on to the green sash. Not only are there trophies from speech tournaments in high school but also plaques from youth groups representing her accomplishments as a chapter leader. Her artistic achievements in scrap-booking for her youth group were rewarded as were her leadership abilities as president of a variety of organizations. Even after graduating college, she was asked to be president of her college alumni association before her death. I was very proud of her many writings she did as media and publicity director for the L.A. Music Center. For never having taken any writing classes, she was an excellent writer!

My husband had a great idea this year. He said, “Why don’t you take the trophies Marcy won and the trophies you won during high school and college and display them all together on a shelf in your office, where you do all your writing and spend many hours?” What a good idea, I thought! And that has happened this week.

In another box are hundreds of letters sent to me from friends and co-workers expressing their sympathy and talking about Marcy. It warms my heart to read and reread them each year, knowing she was much loved by all.

I keep a box of all the material from the funeral—the guest book, the gifts and contributions in her memory, the plaques and trees planted in a variety of locations with photos of each, and the memorial services held for her, all of which I attended.

In the last box I have a potpourri of items: most important to me are the photos. In my office, my bedroom and the family room, I have at least one photo of Marcy. That way, she is with me always. I smile as I remember the significant event or activity represented in the photo of  her… some with friends, some with family, all of whom are long gone.

This ritual of sorts helps me remember not only her life but also her personality and friendships with many acquaintances and family members. She was so full of life and had many plans for her future. Like all bereaved parents, I want to never forget that she lived and was loved. Going through the things I still have after almost 22 years is my personal way of keeping her memory alive.