“God has a plan.”
“All things happen for a
reason.”
“God never asks of us
more than we can bear.”
“He is in a better
place.”
“God needed another
angel.”
If you are a religious
or spiritual believer, these statements are not allowed in an online Facebook
page or the closed Facebook group called “Grief Beyond Belief.” In 2011,
Rebecca Hensler, founded the group, devoted to faith-free grief support.
According to Rebecca,
this group would rather hear phrases like “I’m so sorry,” “I’m thinking of
you,” or “We think of your daughter often.” Comments should be compassionate
and respectful of other members. She says that if your opinion or
experience differs from that of another participant, describe your own
experience or opinion, rather than criticizing those of others.
The site, according to
Rebecca, is to provide support for all kinds of loss: children, siblings,
parents, and even pets. Rebecca lost her 3-month old son Jude in 2009. He was
born with a birth defect and did not survive.
___________________________________________
The aim of Grief Beyond
Belief is to facilitate peer-to-peer grief support for atheists, Humanists, and
other Freethinkers by providing spaces free of religion, spiritualism,
mysticism, and evangelism in which to share sorrow and offer the comfort of
rational compassion.
___________________________________________
She found that most
grief organizations such as Compassionate Friends, depending where you live and
who is the head of it, may expound on life after death and seeing your loved
one again. Rebecca was looking to create support for anyone grieving who
doesn’t believe in God. Religious or spiritual content is not permitted
anywhere on this site.
Opinions expressed on
the site are those of individual atheist bloggers only. One blogger said that
she was afraid to offend someone who did believe. If a child had survived a car
accident, some might call it a “miracle” and a testament to the power of
prayer. If the child died, it would be just part of “God’s mysterious ways.”
Then the blogger realized that ignoring her being offended was
ridiculous. Bloggers believe no one should be offended because they
believe differently than those who are religious. Everyone has a right to
believe what they want, according to Rebecca.
___________________________________________
The purpose of this
site, according to Rebecca, is to provide mutual support. Comments should be
compassionate and respectful of other members.
_______________________________________________________
Grief Beyond Belief is
about peer to peer grief support. The group volunteers send out links to
articles; people may comment, and those grieving can comment or write in for
support. The closed Facebook group, which you must join, has 2,508 members.
Blogs are written by supporters, and Rebecca travels around the country
speaking to free-thought organizations on grieving as a non-believer, secular
grief support and related topics. Articles on what the group does have appeared
in USA Today, Culture Wars Radio and the Thinking Atheist podcasts.
The group does not
provide professional grief counseling but can refer you to a specialist. They
stress they do not endorse anyone in particular or receive any type of benefit
from doing this. They are just trying to help.
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