Sunday, February 28, 2010

Death of Marcy's Dad

This past week my daughter's father died. It was a shock and unexpected and in that respect similar to Marcy's sudden death, only his was medical reasons. Jess was a kind, loving individual, and although we had been divorced for many years, we remained friends over the years.

One of the reasons was Marcy. We could always talk about her as no other two people could, and he would always mention Marcy in a speech he gave and whenever talking to friends or anyone who knew her. I still always try to do the same. We don't ever want to forget her, nor do we want others to either.

The last time I saw him was at our Godchild's Bar Mitzvah in January. We are both Godparents to Marcy's best friend's children and at the Bar Mitzvah we were both honored and lit a candle and said a prayer during the celebration, since Marcy could not be there to celebrate with her best friend.

Even more recently, in February, Jess became part of the bereavement group I started in the city and was very enthusiastic about playing a major part in helping others in hopes of also helping himself. He was one of those who had a lot of trouble getting through the grief process and I, too, was hopeful this would help him also.

I hope he is at peace now, and I'm sure he and Marcy are both laughing at a funny story he is telling her. They both had a terrific sense of humor. Goodbye, Jess, and thank you for helping me give life to Marcy, our most prized accomplishment.


  1. I am so very sorry for the loss of your good friend and dear Marcy's father. Been following your posts, grieving 6 months after my 10 year old son's sudden death. My heart is with you.

  2. I will never forget sitting behind you at Marcy's funeral and noticing that, although you had been divorced a number of years, you and Jess were sitting side by side holding hands throughout the service. The two of you were a model for my own divorce.

    Best wishes,

  3. I was very sorry to learn of Jess' passing. I have a very clear memory of him. It was when I had come over to be prepped on house-sitting for you. I remember that you were busily getting things prepared for travel and leaving me notes and tips. Jess sat with me in the backyard, sharing a glass of wine and enthusiastically telling me all about the latest book he had read. He glowed with the peace of a guy who really just wanted to be in the moment of sharing something that he had found interesting and I always remembered that.