Today's writing I dedicate to a friend who died recently. She was a special friend, and a loving, caring mother, grandmother and wife. She was also a good teacher, always concerned about her students and their lives, always helpful where she could be. Most importantly to me, she knew my daughter, Marcy, for most of her life.
She and I knew each other for over 35 years. We met when she began teaching at the same school that I was teaching, and she stayed for even longer than I did. After I retired, she continued to substitute teach until a few weeks before she died, even in the face of illness and pulling a needed oxygen tank behind her all the time. She didn't care what anyone thought; she loved those kids and they her. They found her easy to talk to about any problem they had, whether it was with school, friends or family, and many times used endearing terms such as "Aunt" or "Mama" before her name. She was concerned and cared about each and every one of them in addition to being a good teacher.
Her children and Marcy grew up together. One of her sons was the same age as Marcy, and they belonged to the same organizations, went to religious school together, knew the same people. She followed Marcy's activities and life, always complimenting me very sincerely on an award she won, her engagement, her marriage.
When Marcy died she took it very hard and was always kind enough to mention her when appropriate and empathize when appropriate. She had no trouble bringing up her name and referring to events long past, as so many others seem to have trouble doing. I appreciated that more than I can say. I find it hard to think of her as no longer here, even though she lived a long, productive life. I can see her face at places I go and at activities I know she participated in, and I can't help but smile when thinking of her.
It is no different with my daughter. I always imagine seeing her in crowds and think of what a great time she would have had at various events. I think of what her life would have been like with her husband, with children, with friends, with family and with a great career.
The death of a friend is very sad and our child's death unthinkable, but we have memories that will always be with us, fond memories that we are able to recall at any given moment. The memories will always remain deep within us. We can look back at these memories and know our lives were blessed and enriched for having known and loved them. As for my friend, I will always think of her with very fond memories.
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Dear Sandy,
ReplyDeleteThe name of our heavenly child, spoken out loud, is a gift that rings pure to our mother's ear. It says so much about the person who can do it, don't you think?
I thank you for the work you have done to acknowledge and validate the great loss and suffering we mothers and fathers have had to bear.
I look forward to reading your new book, Sandy, and I'll alert all my moms in my Mothers Finding Meaning Again Group.
I know you live too far away to join but be a part of our network and any other mom, too, of course. http://www.wheneverydaymatters.com/?page_id=89 It is new and there is a place calling out to dads, also. I need a picture in jpeg format and just no more than 400 words.