Sunday, February 3, 2013
Sharing Our Children At Meetings
I, like many people, still attend bereavement meetings, even after almost 19 years since my daughter died. Some groups in states meet every other week, some once a month. Since most of our members either work or are vey active in their community, our group meets every other month.
It’s not that I need to go to these meetings. I want to. I have made friends in the group, and I want to help any new people as they try to find their way back to a new normal. I am so proud of these members. I have seen them grow so much since the first time they attended, when they were completely shattered and didn’t know where to turn.
Talking about their loss and about their children and knowing everyone understands what they are going through because we, too, have been there, is so very helpful. Sometimes we have guest speakers who are grief specialists and impart lots of information to us. I know what we do has been helpful, and I am proud of that. I also try to get information to them about conferences, speakers, candle lightings, etc. in addition to our programs.
Each meeting we have one of the members think of a discussion topic or plan something of interest to involve all of us. Recently, one bereaved mom, came up with a unique idea that I wanted to share with you, as an example of something you might want to do if you belong to a bereavement group.
She had each of us bring a picture of a special birthday our child celebrated, pass it around the group and tell everyone about the special day, special plans that were made and anything unique about it. We all participated. We talked about everything from parties in the mountains and ice-skating to balloon releases and backyard pool parties. The mom had done a large colorful poster of all our children’s names and birthdates and placed it on the table with a beautiful birthday cake she had bought that we ate. We decided that every January we would celebrate our children’s birthdays for that year as part of our yearly programs and make it a special tradition.
This is the kind of thing that we feel makes our group special. We all want to remember our children and the joy they brought to our lives. What better way to do this than to find different ways of sharing their lives with others.