Sunday, February 23, 2014

Open To Hope

Another book that I have contributed to is the “Open To Hope” book. It not only highlights the death of a child, but other loses as well.

Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley chose two of my stories to include. One is on writing down all you can about positive memories of your child and keeping them handy to relate to others when you are together. Don’t dwell on them to the extent that you ignore the present. But they are fun to look back on years later when the pain is less severe. These types of memories we will never forget. Keep them in a safe place within our heart so our children will always be with us, and we will always have opportunities to talk about them to others.

My other story in the book deals with how to keep your marriage healthy after the death of a child. It is an opportunity for growth and bringing the two spouses closer together. Some ideas include talking about your child, remembering the good times and funny incidents, the awards and the honors that made you so proud of them. Talk about your feelings. Most married couples don’t grieve the same way. Allow each other space at your own rate and in your own way. Talk to friends, relatives; look for ways to please your spouse. All these things and more will help you find new ways of moving on with your lives as a couple, without your child.

Other stories in the book talk about spousal death, parental death, surviving and moving on with your life, the emotional stress of losing a loved one, sibling death, how men grieve, laughing again, honoring your child and rebuilding your life with valuable tools to help.

These are all inspirational stories written by authors who also write for the Open To Hope web site, writers who have also experienced deep loss, from which it takes courage and effort to lift yourself out of the abyss you are in. It reminds me a lot of my second book, “Creating a New Normal…After the Death of a Child” in which I give a lot of advice from my experience and the wisdom from professionals.

It is definitely a good read and one I would recommend.