Sunday, March 9, 2008

Please ask...

As a bereaved parent, one of the most important things to us is to be able to talk about our children, whether it is with friends, relatives or strangers. Our child existed and we don’t want others to forget that. The only thing we have left is our memories. People should be aware that for the majority of us, we say, “Yes, yes, yes, ask us anything you want to know. Let us talk about our child to you. Let us tell you what they were all about. It means so much to us.”

Below is a poem by Barbara Taylor Hudson that so eloquently describes how we feel.

PLEASE ASK
Someone asked me about you today.
It’s been so long since anyone has done that.
It felt so good to talk about you.
To share my memories of you.
To simply say your name out loud.
She asked me if I minded talking about
What happened to you…
Or would it be too painful to speak of it.
I told her I think of it every day
And speaking about it helps me to release
The tormented thought whirling around in my head.
She said she never realized the pain
Would last this long…
She apologized for not asking sooner.
I told her, “Thanks for asking.”
I don’t know if it was curiosity
Or concern that made her ask,
But told her, “Please do it again sometime…
Soon.”

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