Sunday, April 24, 2011

Possessions: What Happens When We Are Gone?

When we are gone, who will want our pictures and possessions, especially if we have lost our only child? If we have surviving children and/or siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, will any of these people want the items we now cherish, or do these items loose their meaning entirely when someone in a family dies.

Throughout my life and my daughter’s, I took many photos, saved many possessions and encouraged her to do the same. Here I am with all these memories that I enjoy having, and it scares me to think of what may happen to them when I am gone.

There are surviving children who are known to throw away, give away, sell, shred or even burn parents’ photos in addition to other parental possessions they don’t want. So should we bother with all the effort we put in to taking photos, buying knick knacks and gifts for others and/or making scrapbooks in our lifetime?

Many parents say they don’t bother taking photos of trips, cruises or the like anymore. Nor do they make any effort to buy something beautiful such as glass sculpture, just to have them disposed of by surviving children or relatives.

I completely disagree. No matter where they may end up, I enjoy making memories and hope that others can relate to that. But if someone in the next generation, that is, children or other relatives, don’t want any of these memories, well, at least I had the pleasure of enjoying them for as long as I could. I particularly enjoy those photos or items that belonged to my now deceased only child. I have many photos, some possessions and two videos.

I don’t want my daughter to be forgotten, but you have to have caring people in your life who want to keep her memory alive after I am gone, and what better way to do that, then by having photos and possessions to look at and relive those wonderful times and pass on stories for generations to come.

 I’d be interested to know how others see this situation and how they deal with it. Send me your comments.

1 comment:

  1. Having lost our daughter two years ago in a car/bike accident she was on the bike. I do not have many items of hers as she was married with 3 small children. Her husband has keep all of her belongings for the children so they can see what she liked and. It is hard I kept all my mother's china,silver and other furniture. I thought my daughter would want it and now she is gone. I don't think my son's are interested. I did know that the china etc. my daughter did not want and I don't know what to do with it. It is a problem with a child as well as parents.